maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
