you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
