A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am mentally ready for anal.
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