Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
