I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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