i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
