Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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