People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
