Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
