My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
