Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
