Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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