Sacagawea was the original milf.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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