Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize