Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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