cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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