Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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