I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Do vagina's smell?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
