that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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