I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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