You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize