The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
