Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize