Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
