I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
