Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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