Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
