It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
