im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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