We got so high we made milksteak
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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