My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
