Ambien. No doubt about it.
I cockslap morals
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
