apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
