so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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