Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
