The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
