a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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