Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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