Me too!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
