All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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