We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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