Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My cat gives me a boner
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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