he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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