Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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