I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
