office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
