I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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