You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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