My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
