either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
