you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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