so that wasnt chicken after all
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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