Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He? As in you personified your dick?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
