Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
