Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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