What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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