There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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