in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
