An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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