You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
